Attention when Talking with Children

First, parents should pay attention to choose the content to speak. Conversation and children, may not have to choose the eight children are the topic, especially facing the entrance of the child, if the parents speak three separated exam, learning, children naturally Heart bored. Like children in front of the third year, in the face of intense refresher, the pressure would have great parents exhort, asked the children will become the invisible burden the children physically and mentally restless, unable to enter the normal state of learning. If parents can choose a lighter topic, the children interested in the topic, the children will naturally not reject their parents at bay. And the child’s life theme of learning, even if the parents talk about learning, as long as the conversation is in line with the child’s tastes, he also talked about learning up talking talking. One comes to learn, the class happening naturally, they talked about. Parents naturally want to know is learned. Sometimes, some seemingly boring things in life, a good grasp of, can help children to clear up doubts, culture temperament.

Secondly, speaking often more important than the content. Parents should learn to master more exchanges and children, minimize the use of rhetorical questions, such as “how do you do not seize the moment homework” to speak with the children, “Did not you promise you”; minimize the use of statements and evaluation so late, such as “Do not wait, hurry to finish the job to seize the rest.” These words to ignore the emotional delivery, let the children hear is to blame, command, make children very disgusted. If the parents said: “Children, today is not too late, you can rest?” I think it definitely is a different situation. Parents need more thinking to try effective means of communication, such as a letter to the children, leaving a note. Many parents confused letter, note and other methods have been tried, does not effect. But I think the parents changed since that speak, the tone of voice has not changed, the content does not speak, the child naturally downplayed. Even a parent wrote a letter to the children, renowned children read the letter and asked what ideas. Changes in the way such exchanges have actually self-defeating.

Also the timing of communication, and the child is also very important. Such as child exam defeat, under normal circumstances, there will be lost, sad, when parents give their children the time, space, and allow children to vent their negative emotions.Like discussed above, the child said a discouraging words, maybe just the emotional catharsis nothing, which the parents do not have to get too excited, do not rush to console, and inspiring parents to believe that children have the ability to self-repair. This process is exactly the process of growing children. At this time, I think that parents do not say they may be better than that effect, that is, “The silence sound”. Many parents would think that at this time if the wrong child to say something, parents will feel failed in its obligations. But I think that if the parents just to meet their own needs, consider only their own subjective will, regardless of the children feel, this dialogue only pay attention to the motive does not look effective, in fact, does not really doing my duty.

Dialogue between parents and children is not the giving and receiving, but the shared understanding of each other’s true wishes and needs, and respect each other’s point of view. If the parents will be able to fully understand this point and try to practice, I think the children will listen to the parents say the children before they agree to the parents to tell them the truth.


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