Attention when Talking with Children

First, parents should pay attention to choose the content to speak. Conversation and children, may not have to choose the eight children are the topic, especially facing the entrance of the child, if the parents speak three separated exam, learning, children naturally Heart bored. Like children in front of the third year, in the face of intense refresher, the pressure would have great parents exhort, asked the children will become the invisible burden the children physically and mentally restless, unable to enter the normal state of learning. If parents can choose a lighter topic, the children interested in the topic, the children will naturally not reject their parents at bay. And the child’s life theme of learning, even if the parents talk about learning, as long as the conversation is in line with the child’s tastes, he also talked about learning up talking talking. One comes to learn, the class happening naturally, they talked about. Parents naturally want to know is learned. Sometimes, some seemingly boring things in life, a good grasp of, can help children to clear up doubts, culture temperament.

Secondly, speaking often more important than the content. Parents should learn to master more exchanges and children, minimize the use of rhetorical questions, such as “how do you do not seize the moment homework” to speak with the children, “Did not you promise you”; minimize the use of statements and evaluation so late, such as “Do not wait, hurry to finish the job to seize the rest.” These words to ignore the emotional delivery, let the children hear is to blame, command, make children very disgusted. If the parents said: “Children, today is not too late, you can rest?” I think it definitely is a different situation. Parents need more thinking to try effective means of communication, such as a letter to the children, leaving a note. Many parents confused letter, note and other methods have been tried, does not effect. But I think the parents changed since that speak, the tone of voice has not changed, the content does not speak, the child naturally downplayed. Even a parent wrote a letter to the children, renowned children read the letter and asked what ideas. Changes in the way such exchanges have actually self-defeating.

Also the timing of communication, and the child is also very important. Such as child exam defeat, under normal circumstances, there will be lost, sad, when parents give their children the time, space, and allow children to vent their negative emotions.Like discussed above, the child said a discouraging words, maybe just the emotional catharsis nothing, which the parents do not have to get too excited, do not rush to console, and inspiring parents to believe that children have the ability to self-repair. This process is exactly the process of growing children. At this time, I think that parents do not say they may be better than that effect, that is, “The silence sound”. Many parents would think that at this time if the wrong child to say something, parents will feel failed in its obligations. But I think that if the parents just to meet their own needs, consider only their own subjective will, regardless of the children feel, this dialogue only pay attention to the motive does not look effective, in fact, does not really doing my duty.

Dialogue between parents and children is not the giving and receiving, but the shared understanding of each other’s true wishes and needs, and respect each other’s point of view. If the parents will be able to fully understand this point and try to practice, I think the children will listen to the parents say the children before they agree to the parents to tell them the truth.


A Pre-Preparing is Necessary when Talking witg Children

In a parent conference, Dongcheng District, the mother of a high school boys seem to completely ignore the existence of the other parents, to describe what happened between her children will fall. It can be said, for parents narrate things I did not hear that quite clear, so I would like to remind parents to control their emotions, and asked whether this tone she normally talk with the child, and that makes the mother a little quiet down. After getting to know that, my mother said that the children used to be very obedient, very good grades to enter high school followed by parents communicate less and less, rarely mentioned to the parents for what is happening in the school as well as their own learning situation. Whenever parents tried to talk to him about these topics, or to see their children in a bad mood, and parents to persuade a few words, the child often is the door to a related, but there has been no direct conflict with their parents. Recent monthly tests, grades slipped more obvious, the mood is very low see children, parents also in front of the children revealed the worried, ask the reasons for the decline of child achievement, and reminded to sum ​​up the experience so that when a similar situation in the college entrance examination. Can not think of the children reacted very intense, wrestling hit the books, and say that they do not want to school. Mother earnestly persuasion, encouragement, her mother’s efforts seemed to have little effect, but rather children at her rage, even angry rebuke mother from this to keep their mouths shut. Here mother broke down in tears, her lest Yuekao defeat a child caused by a blow, he is certainly even make some irrational things, so she has time to accompany their children around, do everything possible to comfort the children. She do not understand why their good intentions, the children are not grateful. The mother said, now they are afraid of their children came home from school, she did not know what to say in front of children. For her, with the conversation between the child simply an intractable problem.

In fact, the parents are not alone, and how to communicate with their children, many parents confused. As children grow, the parents seemed more and more do not know how to speak with their children. Sometimes dialogue between parent and child, the parents may detonate bombs viewer is not aware. So often have parents through my mailbox, blog, consultation should be how to communicate with their children, and even asked to deal with specific issues, should talk to their children that Naju Hua. Can understand the feelings of the parents, but also the spirit of this learning I was moved. But I think that the parents of the child to say, when to say, that children only want to hear what, this is a science, parents need to spend time pondering. Not that I told the parents to their child Naju Hua said parents will be able to receive the desired effect. Because the same sentence, the speaker’s tone and expression, the effect is certainly different. Because words can change people’s oral, inner thoughts could not conceal. And the interaction between the parents, children in each family, the child’s personality is different, and sometimes even speak different scenarios will be making the same sentence, the effect is very different. So to speak with the children and parents to prepare lessons.

My daughter every time during the exam, and I are her designated specifically accompany. Because she knew in her time of greatest need, I can make a word, she was full of energy. Especially the college entrance examination, a few days after each expedition, I will observe the child’s face, “Man under Caidie”, targeted to help the child emotional adjustment in a timely manner and exam status, makes her super level of play, there is no suspense into Peking University. In fact, and not just the child to participate in a major exam or to talk about children’s learning, parents speak to prepare lessons, always get along with the kids, all aspects, parents with children, especially adolescent children to speak, must be well thought out to do enough homework.